Dishing Criticism Effectively

by Carla Engelbrecht / DiscLife.com
March, 2003

Which would you rather hear?

"Idiot, stop dropping your shoulder."

Or

"You're almost there. If you shift the weight between your feet instead of keeping it all on your back foot, you'll be more balanced. That will stop you from dropping your shoulder as much, which means more accuracy and at least another forty or fifty feet."

Well, I've heard both, in one weekend, at the Eric Yetter Memorial last year. I was yanking every drive. And to add to the fun of destroying my weekend, I was playing with touring pro Shawn Sinclair. Let's just say I left the course that day with muddy knees, a lot of scratches, and my pride bruised.

In the weeks before that tourney, I knew something was wrong with my drive. The guys I play with regularly had kindly offered a solution (stop dropping my shoulder), but padded it with a few swear words.

Gee. Guess they didn't realize I would stop dropping my shoulder if I knew how!

Anyway, back to the Yetter (and my point). After the round, Shawn politely asked if I'd like a few pointers. With a few well-chosen words and demonstrations, I finally understood that I wasn't shifting my weight off my back foot, which made it easy for me to drop my shoulder and release the disc late.

I was ecstatic. Convinced Shawn's words would be key to solving my recent driving funk (and, with a little practice, it was), I told my friends everything he said.

They got mad at me.

In their eyes, they had pointed out the same problem, albeit in their own choice of words, I was only now getting it because Shawn Sinclair said it.

No offense to Shawn and his reputation, but the reason I understood the problem at that moment in time was because of the difference in their choices of words. Shawn knew how to break it down. My friends were trying to help but mucked it up with cruddy criticism. Hence my point, anyone can be a critic, but a well-respected and listened to critic has to have style and tact.

So before you dole out any more advice to your buddies on the course (or off the course, at that), remember a few things to help you make your point effectively.

1. Think twice before you say anything.
   Can it wait until the round is over? Will the person be more comfortable if you talk in private? Will your comments likely help? Are you in the right mood to talk nicely and professionally? Is the other person?
2. Be specific and succinct-about the problem, about the solution.
   Rambling hurts to listen to. Don't do it.
3. Sandwich the bad news with compliments.
   Tell me that I really have to practice putting and I'll think you're a jerk. But you'll be my best friend if you say, "You have a great putting form. If you take a couple of minutes to throw 25 solid putts before a round will go a long way toward improving your consistency. Add that to your drive and you'll be in great shape!"
4. Explain why your ideas will help.
   Take the relationship between the speed at which you release the disc and the distance it travels. Most people are not going to know what to do if you just vaguely tell them to release the disc at a faster speed. However, if you explain that accelerating their arm speed through the point of release will add fifty feet or more to the drive, they'll know why it's important to consider your advice.
5. Offer a solution or how to improve the situation. Better yet, demonstrate it.
   Even though I basically knew my shoulder was the cause of my wacky drive, I didn't know how to fix it. Once Shawn demonstrated the difference between keeping all my weight on my back foot and transferring it during the drive, I understood the root of the problem and could focus on fixing it.
6. Phrase your words as a suggestion.
   Remember, no one has to listen to your advice.
7. Know when to stop criticizing.
   There's no need to destroy the person's ego in an attempt to fix every problem.