Let me just begin by saying, as someone who was born and raised in Orono, Maine, and has been wondering when any of my teams from Boston were going to win (okay, so the Celtics won in the '80s, but I despise pro basketball…most boring game on Earth)…
THE PATRIOTS RULE! WOOOO HOOOOOO! Okay, I'm done.
I remember it like it was yesterday: I was in high school in the early 80's when my Mom and Dad got HBO hooked up at our house. I was so looking forward to seeing tons of movies in the comfort of my living room (which I did!). But lo and behold, all of these years later, the thing I remember most about HBO is… SNIGLETS! Yup, Sniglets. Some of you may remember comedian Rich Hall on HBO's "Not Necessarily the News" doing Sniglets. For those of you who may be wondering what a Sniglet is, its any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
Here's some Sniglets examples to help you:
Burgacide: when a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
Snacksmosphere: the empty but explosive layer of air at the top of a potato chip bag.
Subatomic Toasticles: the little pieces of toast that stay stuck to the stick of butter.
Thermalophobia: the fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.
So I figure that it's time for some disc golf Sniglets. When I presented the idea to a few fellow golfers at my home course in Philly, there was one in particular who, the very next day, sent me a list of Sniglets he made up. This person was Dave Stembel, who you know (if you've been following my misadventures here at DiscLife) is my buddy that I do the 'toon Sarcastic Plastic with for our club newsletter, NiceUp! The Sniglets you see here are presented to you by Joe THE and Dave "Lebmets" Stembel. I hope you enjoy them.
Athemissed: Having absolutely no belief in anyone's putting philosophy…ever.
Barbedork: the guy who decides to use hole seven's basket to cook up his family's picnic lunch.
Beatnick: what message board readers feel like doing to those who entertain themselves by habitually posting controversial and inflamitory messages on disc websites (Love yah, Nick!!).
Bendodynamics: body motions made after a disc is released in the hope of correcting the flight of the disc.
Caputtulation: accepting the fact that you will never be a good putter.
Chingrip: a short putt thrown very hard into the chains.
Complimentinator: the player who prematurely says 'nice shot'... and gets the blame when your disc hits a tree.
Dirbris (dir-bree): the line of dirt along the inside rim of a well-used disc.
Discgusting: the ongoing attempt to find more new and exciting ways to incorporate the word "disc" into any disc golf related websites, stores, merchandise, etc.
Hempathy: being cool about understanding the innocent vices of others.
Ka-putt: the result of a disc that hits the chains, but falls out.
Parthritis: the difficulty in trying to convince other golfers that not every single hole on every single course is a par three.
Putthetic: the whining noise you hear when a golfer can do nothing but complain, complain, complain.
Puttperpetude: the act of retrieving your missed practice putt and going back to the exact same spot you missed from and trying again (and again….and again….).
Puttpitation: to take a putting stance, get your feet all set, loosen your shoulders, adjust your grip, pick a link….then decide to explore other putting stances.
Recurtic: a disc with your name on it that has been given to someone else, gets lost, and keeps getting returned to you.
Retrofrisbonic: anyone who still carries Wham-O plastic for golf.
Rimnicks: the dings and nicks on a disc.
Smakamatopia: during your war story, the act of recreating the sound your disc made when it hit a tree.
Snivot: a thin slice in the snow that serves as the only indication of where your disc is hiding.
Throwler: a disc that becomes a roller despite your intent to throw the disc flat.
Treepidation: being wary of making another shot that could possibly put you even deeper into the woods than you already are.
Twigonometry: every golfers' unconscious ability to accumulate twigs, leaves, and dirt in the bottom of their golf bag.
Zeemonia: what a disc with no spin experiences.
Got some disc golf Sniglets of your own? Send them along! I'll do a follow-up with all the submissions in a few weeks. I hope you all have a great 2002.
Roc(k) on!
Send feedback to Joe THE.
Disc Golf Sniglets
